:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
