uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
false alarm, still single
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
