flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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