Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
