if i died would you start the facebook group?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
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