oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
