Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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