i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
