i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
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