now i know why i became what i already was.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
