he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize