i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
