My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
