Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
