It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Randomize
