I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
