Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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