He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize