It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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