i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
