Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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