somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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