how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I got inside last night via doggy door
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
