He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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