If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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