Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
he fucked my hip out of place.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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