If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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