Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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