Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
