dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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