thus making me awesome and them whores
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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