Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
