I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?