If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
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Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
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WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
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