Dual....:-)
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
