i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
He has the fingertips of a God
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