last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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