you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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