I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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