Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
