I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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