you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
