She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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