he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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