Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
