On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
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Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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