I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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