I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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