Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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