She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
