people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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