You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize