i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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