We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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