I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
