Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
