I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize